Erogenous Zones
Erogenous zones may be genital and non-genital [41,50,65,69, and other]. Female body has a greater variety of erogenous zones, compared to male one. In the context of this book, it is important to examine this issue in conjunction with problems of sexual psychology.
One may often hear from men pretending “experienced” an opinion that “all women are alike”. But in reality, only a primitive egocentric person could say a thing like this. The truth is that it is hard to find two women who would be similar from the sexual standpoint. But only that man has a chance to get to know this who seeks not pleasures for himself in his sexual relationships but an opportunity to please his female partner, to make her happy and full of harmony.
Women are not alike in terms of forms of petting that are adequate for them.
They also are not alike in terms of the kind of a sexual intercourse that can provide the most intense pleasure and satisfaction for them. And this depends on which genital erogenous zone prevails in particular woman.
For example, in some women the clitoris is the most sensitive erogenous zone, which makes them unable to attain satisfaction as a result of sexual intercourse performed in that “original”, vulgar form that is typical of men who just begin their sexual life. But it is possible to reach a high level of harmony with such women (and with almost all women) if during the sexual contact man makes light transversal strokes of the clitoris by his hand.
Other women have a pronounced erectile tissue and an erogenous front vaginal wall under the pubic bone — for such women only quite specific methods of sexual interaction can be adequate.
Also, one can distinguish several groups of women whose predominant genital erogenous zones are either the deepmost part of the vagina, or the cervix of the uterus, or the middle part of the front wall of the vagina, or its opening, or all of its walls.
There is also a great variety of non-genital erogenous zones, such as breasts, skin of the face, the back, the buttocks, the hair part of the head, the earlobes, the arms, the legs, and so on. Some women are able to reach orgasm just as a result of a prolonged and tender touching, for example, of their nipples. Still others can totally lack any increased sensitivity of these parts of the body.
Sometimes there are deviations of erogeneity of certain zones — in these cases touching them makes a woman feel uncomfortable or it may even hurt her. For example, I knew a woman whose vagina was so overly sensitive that it would hurt whenever any part of it was touched, although gynecologists had never found any inflammatory processes in this area. In case of another woman, any contact with the vaginal walls produced unbearable tickling sensations… At the same time, she had an extremely erogenous clitoris.
The functioning of the “lubrication” glands, which make the vagina ready for sexual intercourse, also varies among women. In some cases, these glands work very intensively. But there are women whose vagina remains dry after a very prolonged foreplay or even after the orgasm that resulted from a contact with extravaginal erogenous zones. In cases like these, a harmonious sexual intercourse will be possible only if some water-based lubricant is used.
The task of the man is to study his female partner and to fill her with harmony. And only then the harmony for both will be possible.
Learning to seek joy, harmony, and bliss for a partner — this is an opportunity for spiritual self-development through the sexual aspect of love.
But any kind of indulgence of one’s egotism, let alone intentional cultivation of it, is a path towards spiritual degradation.
No one possesses from birth the knowledge about the sexual psychology of the opposite sex.
A man does not originally know that, for example, he can make a woman want to have sexual relationships with him not by verbal suggestions, demonstration of his masculine features, and especially not by violence, but only by being kind to her, by tenderness and fondling.
He also does not know at first that an energetic beginning of a sexual intercourse is usually unpleasant to a woman and that the true harmony can be attained during a prolonged variant of copulation.
He also does not know that when a woman agrees to a sexual contact, she tends to totally trust her male friend and that it is primarily he — the man — who must take care of prevention of an unwanted pregnancy in this situation.
One of the contraceptive methods can be ejaculation outside of the genitals of the woman.
Orientation on stages of women’s menstrual cycle is not reliable enough for contraception. Conception can occur at any stage of the cycle; what varies is the probability of conception, while it never gets reduced to zero.
I should say, every man must always follow the rule of not making ejaculation in the woman's vagina if she has not given her consent to it...
… A man surely does not know how different women are from the sexual standpoint.
But a woman does not know that an inexperienced man does not and cannot know all this.
By studying psychological features of the opposite sex in an altruistic sex life, a person gets closer to the possibility of realization of one of the fundamental precepts of Jesus Christ that a man and a woman must become one (Gospel of Thomas, 27; see [61]). What does it mean?
It means that on the way to Perfection everyone, regardless of their sex, has to develop all the best features of each sex. After all, Universal God, although people call Him God-the-Father, — in reality does not possess a sex. And in order to fulfill the precept of Jesus Christ about striving for attainment of Divine Perfection (Matt. 5:48), men should cultivate gentleness, tenderness, and caring attention, the ability to forgive and to wait, which are typical of the best women. Women should develop wise leadership abilities, an aspiration to explore the unknown, become energetic and purposeful.
The best qualities of one’s own sex must, of course, be also brought to perfection, while all bad ones must be eliminated.
The main component of the spiritual Path is ethical self-development. This is why we have to learn to develop ethical purity in whatever we do, including mastering the sexual aspect of love (see also [14-25]).
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When a man caresses his beloved, his movements should be tender, light, tranquil. Then the woman enters subtlest blissful states of the consciousness. And the man, attuning with her and merging with her by the consciousness, also enters these states. Thanks to this, an important evolutionary process takes place — the process of growth of the Atmic potential of kundalini of both partners [25].
Both partners cognize paradisiacal and even higher states of subtle bliss, and learn to live in these states.
One should understand that one of the most important components of spiritual development is the refinement of the consciousness. Therefore it is through the refinement that we come close to the cognition of the most subtle Consciousness — the Consciousness of the Creator! [15-19,21-25]
Such is, in particular, the intent of the Creator for us — what concerns the sexual aspect of love.
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If a man is unsure whether he can give orgasm to her beloved, then he can induce it with his hand (clear, of course) by caressing her most sensitive genitalic erogenous zones. And only then he unites their genitals.
