Why Did God Need My Death?
God and Devil
Thanks to hard work during the years prior to my killing, I managed to traverse a considerable part of the Path. I was not completely free from everything worldly: behind me there were many students-followers — both in Russia and in other countries. I felt myself one with this system and could not imagine myself separated from it. This hindered my further progress towards the Union with God.
The Creator suggested me to part with them and to leave them alone, because I had given everything to these students that they could encompass. None of them could follow me further. Yet the very idea of ceasing my service to people in its usual form was so alien to me that I could not even understand this suggestion from God.
… This is the paradox of evolution: what is good at one stage of personal development turns out to be bad at the next stages because it hinders one’s further development.
… So what could God do in this situation? Since I could not understand Him in a normal way, He was compelled to force me — for my own good.
And then He sent a devil against me.
… For the majority of people, God and the devil are nothing more than abstract ideas. People know that one should believe in God and be afraid of both of them: God can punish you, while the devil… — what is the devil? — “a fallen angel”… who seduced Eve, Eve seduced Adam… But how is it related to us?
The devil and God are not abstractions. God is One, though this word sounds differently in different languages and though there are many of His Individual Manifestations. As for the devil, there are many of them. The legends of the Old Testament describe one of them, but they just explain the essence of this phenomenon: i.e. from where devils come and what their relations with God are. The Quran also tells about devils (in plural form).
In reality devils are inhabitants of hell more powerful than demons. They are more powerful because of their high degree of crystallization of the consciousnesses. They achieved this in their earthly lives — probably with the help of esoteric practices learned in special satanic black-magic schools or as a result of learning from unwise instructors of esoteric techniques.
Devils sometimes incarnate on the Earth. From childhood they exhibit striking aggression and inclinations to other vices. Having grown up, they behave as powerful “destroyers of the perishable world” (Bhagavad Gita, see ). In the language of psychiatry, they behave as excitable psychopaths and aggressive paranoiacs. They can even become prominent political figures…
… But devils are powerless to seduce the righteous: wise and ethically steadfast people are not capable of performing evil deeds however hard one may try to tempt them!
Therefore, for bringing me to reason God chose an esoteric group where its instructor — a former student of mine — used the methods of work with the consciousness learned from me to grow such devils. Desiring to remain a “spiritual leader” by any means, she enrolled in her group anyone wanting to learn from her without judging whether they were worthy or not. They — ethically and intellectually primitive people — learned the magical power from her. And, as a result, they developed the feeling of being chosen and super worthy, the feeling of their all-allowance.
And they, being guided by a devil, made up an accusation about me for a deed which I was not capable of doing. They got beside themselves with rage against me, passed sentence on me, and executed this sentence without even letting me know. I described this already.
… I recall now with an ironic smile how I was perplexed by the absurdity, insanity of their deed — for a long time I did not tell their names even to my closest friends. Thus I, dying, tried to save them from disgrace: I thought that they would come to their senses and then apologize and repent… But this has never happened; they turned out to be people of the pole opposite to me; they had learned only to lie, to hate, to use violence.
… But my victory was predetermined by one more trial: by the fact that the destiny of these criminals was in my hands… I knew their names and addresses — both of the organizer of this crime and of the leader of this gang. I could give this information to the police — and then they would have been arrested and imprisoned…
… Yet I did not want to take revenge on them. I knew that I was not a victim of professional killers or insane people who should be isolated from others; they were just primitives who should be pitied… And they could not avoid karmic consequences of their criminal deed…
I began to look at this situation from God’s standpoint: what is better for the universal Evolution — to send them to prison for many years or to try to reform their souls here in freedom through repentance?
I chose the second and tried to direct them to this with the help of their leader. I asked the police to put this case on hold.
I remember that one of the policemen asked me: “Don’t you worry about your own safety?” No: it was not me who had to be afraid, but they — to be afraid of meeting me, meeting the police, meeting God if some of them became believers.
But my intention with their repentance failed: their leader could not explain to them what repentance is, and she herself urgently left Russia having registered a marriage with a foreign person.
Yet I do not regret that I forgave them. At least I benefited from the case.
If I had given their names to the police — I would have spent too much time and effort for participating in this process as the injured party!
Instead of this, during the months of dying I managed to write and publish four new books, and to draw conclusions from everything that I had done and cognized.
Moreover, I managed to learn to enter the Abode of the Creator and to become so established in it that after the death of the body I naturally appeared there.
… Now it would be appropriate to include my observations of the after-death experience — everything that I personally observed.
First: loss of consciousness and clinical death are completely different states.
When loss of consciousness happens then indeed self-awareness and self-consciousness disappear.
As for death, if it happens immediately without an intermediate unconscious period, then it is felt (by a developed consciousness at least) in a completely different way. When it happens, there can be or can not be a time interval during which the process of the separation of the consciousness from the body takes place. Such a process took place in the case of my first death: the consciousness, that is I, in the form resembling a giant balloon, moved up and began to make oscillatory movements as if trying to become separated from the body. This went on for several seconds. Then the separation happened — and I found myself in the Calm of loving Consciousness-Light.
In the case of my second death, there was no such intermediate stage whatsoever: everything happened instantly.
It is also important to talk about the mechanism of transfer of the consciousness after its separation from the body.
At the moment of death, the “drop” of the individual consciousness is very quickly and unintentionally transferred to the spatial dimension that corresponds to this “drop” as if by specific weight. This transfer happens automatically, and immediately one comes to the stable state of dwelling in the corresponding stratum of multidimensionality. This is a completely predetermined transfer to the corresponding dimension, and there is no doubt about the futility of efforts to change the situation after this transfer has taken place. Therefore the Buddhist, Catholic, and Orthodox ideas about the possibility to change the place of after-death dwelling of the soul — thanks to passing through “purgatory”, or thanks to “prayers of saints”, or thanks to one’s own efforts, or thanks to the help of an experienced mystic who can “lead” the soul to paradise — these ideas are nothing but myths. They are harmful myths, because they damp the believers’ ardor and give them a hope that now they can behave wrongly or be lazy — and then others will pray for them, will help them — after all, there are our patron saints — and everything will be good…
After going to the predetermined stratum of multidimensionality, an individual consciousness can assume a form resembling the form of its former body and continue to exist in this form. This happens, most likely, to the majority of people.
But I have chosen and will choose in the future to refuse to be separated; I choose the state of Mergence, which requires that one prepares oneself beforehand with the help of special meditative trainings.
* * *
For several years, I felt an unbearable back pain every time when there was a heavy load on the backbone. This problem of the backbone seemed to be irreversible, and I must confess that sometimes I had a thought: “Was I right to miss the chance to punish the members of that gang by sending them to prison?” But immediately I would check myself: would they become better from this? — No! Most likely they would get worse… Therefore it was right to forgive them!
… My characteristic feature that was formed in the past life is that I do not get involved into long conflicts with people. The aspiration to my goals always made me go forward and discard everything that hindered me from going on.
This is not the same as cowardice. No. Even in school I always defended my peers if someone offended them. In the university I publicly began to oppose Komsomol and was nearly dismissed from the university for this. In the years of spiritual service, when the KGB required me to stop my teaching, I also struggled and insisted on personal arguments with those who demanded it. They avoided, and I could win time to fully give a class program…
And every time when the struggle was over and I was dismissed from the work — I never demanded justice. I just got a new job — and continued my spiritual work…
I never required satisfaction from people who attacked or slandered me…
In the end, I came out as a winner: I have achieved the Highest Goal instead of being completely absorbed by conflicts. As for them, they stained their destinies with vices…